Chapter VI

September 6, 2009 at 4:50 am (Mystery Of The Stolen Jewels) (Antonio, arab, chronicle, detective, DJ, doctor, mystery, story, tale, thriller)

“They can lock me up in a cage, but there are some things they can never take away from me”, said DJ as he scratched his head.

I was thinking on the lines of ‘Loyalty’, ‘Courage’, and ‘Friendship’ when DJ uttered, “My hair”.

He then held up a single strand of hair to the light. It stood straight up, defying gravity and all the rules that came with it. DJ then licked his thumb and slowly bent the hair so that it resembled a tiny hook. Holding it thus, he blew onto it, drying and hardening it once again. With a crooked smile on his face, he walked to the door and fell on his knees. Carefully slipping the hair hook into the keyhole, DJ listened intently and moved the hair until he caught the lever of the lock, which he then pulled away with ease. The door was unlocked.

We slipped out into total darkness and once again DJ’s biological Tracking System kicked into gear and we found ourselves at the door to the basement in no time.

“What is your plan DJ?” I asked as we sneaked out.

DJ gave me a look of pity and said, “We need to recover the stolen jewels before the Arabi Council assembles tomorrow morning. That will earn some favor in their eyes”.

“But aren’t the jewels gone?”

“That’s what everyone thinks. Now keep silence and follow me”.

DJ slithered and scampered through the palace rooms like a sliver of night itself, utterly undetectable to the naked half-sleepy human eye, possessed by the night guards. It was a task in itself to keep him in sight let alone follow him. At last, we reached the room where it all started. The room that housed the jewels before they were stolen and where we were targets of the devious sniper.

“I hope we are not too late”, muttered DJ as we carefully stepped around the glass shards on the floor, lit by the moonlight coming in through the high windows, and reached a counter. “Now let’s hide behind this counter. And dear Doctor, do not utter a word. One way or the other, this will all be over soon.”

So we sat behind the wooden counter for about two hours until DJ lightly nudged me and brought a finger to his lips. I nodded and peered through the narrow gap between the counter and the wall. At first, nothing was noticeable but then the moonlight revealed another figure attired in black entering the room. He was wearing rubber-soled shoes that made little noise even when he stepped on the glass, which he seemed not to mind. It was evident that he had incapacitated the nearby guards.

As we stared, the intruder walked to the wall beside the door. There he turned and walked towards us counting his steps. After ten, he removed something from his pockets and in the pale light, I saw the gleam of a knife blade. He went down on one knee, jammed it into floor, and pried loose the tile in front of him, exposing a hollow. He then reached inwards and lifted out a black bag made of cloth, which made a light clinking sound. He fished into the bag and when his fist emerged, I saw the glitter of gold and precious stones. We had found the stolen Royal jewels!

In my excitement, I took a step backwards forgetting the fact that I was crouching for so long and my legs had cramped. I fell back with a thud and groaned. The thief at once became alert.

“Who goes there?” he asked, eyes in our direction but clearly unable to see anything since we were in the shadows. He slowly stood up, the knife stretched out in front of him. His face was covered by a cloth mask. This was the man who had given us the slip at the unnamed bar in the evening. DJ now had no option but to confront him.

“Drop your knife and the bag of jewels. I have a gun”, bluffed DJ, standing up in the shadows.

“If you had a gun, you would have shown it to me by now”, sneered the intruder, “You must be that weird guy in black that came before. I had you in my sights, you know.”

“You missed your chance, sunny boy”, said DJ stepping into the light, adopting a traditional ninjutsu stance.

“It was merely a foreplay”, commented the sniper and thief, who then looked a bit confused at his own statement and proceeded to correct it, “It was not foreplay, just a roleplay”. This time, he looked even more confused. Like a black mamba striking its unsuspecting prey, DJ took advantage of his foe’s puzzlement and leaning forward, he knocked the deadly weapon out of the villain’s grasp. As he drew back his hand, the intruder’s mask came off and we saw his face. It was a terrible face like no other.

“Toni”, gasped DJ recognizing the horrible face in front of him¹. DJ’s single moment of distraction was enough for the thief who then head butted him and ran off into the dark.

“Not this time”, yelled DJ as he followed.

^{1.      Antonio ‘Toni’ Boobpressky, half Italian, half Russian, rest God-knows-what was a skilled assassin active during the late nineties all over the world except for Australia and Antarctica. Though he killed for a relatively short period, his success rate was second only to Carlos the Jackal’s. Antonio was born in Pala-ermo, a factor that contributed to his infamous nickname ‘The Tit-Grabber of Pala-ermo’. From an early age onwards, Antonio took great pleasure is worming his way through crowded streets and railway stations smothering any pretty damsel’s mammary glands or hindquarters. As Antonio hit puberty, staying loyal to his modus operandi, he switched his attention to older women, preferably ones that worked in the catering business.}

^{For all his skills in knocking off famous people, Antonio’s only drawback lay in his insane desire to master languages, something that conflicted sharply with his god given abilities. However, this never subdued his enthusiasm and often his puerile attempts to blend in caused him a great deal of trouble. Once in Ethiopia, he tried bargaining for fish in the local market and they almost executed him for abusing the National Anthem. Another time in North India, Antonio was arrested for pimping in disguise, when all he tried was disguise as a street peddler selling peacock oil.}

^{DJ later informed me that it was the slip of the tongue and the confusion thereafter that revealed the dreaded assassin’s identity to him rather than the terrible face.}

^{[Editor's Note] It was presumed that Toni Boobpressky was killed in some unrelated incident around the beginning of the millennium as his activities reportedly came to a standstill. However, recent evidence suggests that he might me the villain known only as the MilfHunter, who terrorized Gudham City sometime back. Given his proclivity for the elderly, the assumption does not seem farfetched.}