Chapter II
It was a trick of the dark or maybe a play of the shadows. I squinted and peered and gazed and eyeballed but still was unable to catch a form or a face. Like the leather costume of a dominatrix, it was all black save for the mysterious letters ‘UMM’ emblazoned across what would be DJ’s chest, if it were possible to see him.
“This is more camouflage than disguise”, I remarked rather dryly.
“You are correct, my dear Doctor”, boomed DJ’s voice from the door and I could sense the smile that would have formed at his lips, “Even the brightest flashes and the sharpest lens would fail to capture me in this attire. Plus it lends an air of mystery to the innocent bystander.” He then walked into the light, but it did not make much of a difference.
“That is if he can see you”, I added as we left.
Twenty minutes later, the cab discharged us in what appeared to be a shady and seedy part of the town. I felt a chill run down my spine. DJ walked towards a door set in a stone building with no markings. He rapped twice, paused and then rapped thrice. Instantly the door opened but I noticed no one standing behind it1.
It was a bar. The lighting was dim and there was Egyptian music playing in the background. As we walked to the counter, I noticed that almost all the tables were occupied. For an unadvertised establishment, it looked quite popular.
The bartender, Ritspick was his name, was a man with a big smile. As soon as he saw us, he raised the index and middle fingers of his right hand in a ‘V’ sign. “What can I get you folks?”
DJ, who never smiles in public, was all business and mumbled, “Whiskey, double shot, on the rocks and no ice please. I have a sore throat.”
As I stared with my mouth open2, the bartender’s smile vanished for a second, but soon reappeared. “I am all ears”, he said.
“Heard anything on a robbery at the Royal Palace?” whispered DJ.
“Word on the table is that it was someone from abroad”, the bartender whispered back, “You might want to check out that shady guy sitting in the corner there. He just appeared after the robbery and seems pretty shifty about something.”
I glanced at a small man sitting in the corner. He had his back to us.
DJ nodded lightly and then whispered, “Hickory Dickory Dock, The mouse ran up the clock.” The bartender’s smile once again disappeared for an instant.
We approached the man in the corner. As we drew near, I saw with a start that the man had a scarf covering his face3. There was a small hole at the mouth and using a straw, he was drinking whiskey. Suddenly he looked dangerous.
“Hello there, I am DJ and this is my friend, the faithful Doctor. We have a few questions on the theft that happened at the Royal Palace this afternoon4.”
With an agility that belied his form, the man in the mask leaped up, the whiskey glass firm in his grip. He threw the contents of the glass onto my face and crashed the glass on DJ’s head. However, he was in for a surprise on that last part. The glass turned to powder but DJ was left unharmed.
“You really should not have wasted that glass on my hair”5, quipped DJ as he cleanly connected a left hook to the stranger’s jaw bringing him down. As DJ turned around to help me up, I noticed the masked man scrambling away.
“After him DJ”, I screamed. He had reached the door and we dashed towards him.
1. Obviously there was some hidden mechanism.
2. To the naïve reader, this might seem like the rambling of an idiot, but as I was to learn in The Mystery of the Mysterious Sex Tape, this was a secret code to unlock the mind of the bartender who was already hypnotized. By whom and for what, I am still unaware.
3. As if he was trying in vain to protect himself from swine flu.
4. Tact was never one of DJ’s strengths.
5. This, in my opinion, is one of DJ’s most original and humorous quotes. This incident brought DJ’s hair and it’s mysterious properties, of which I was to learn more later, to my attention. I had no idea that this was just the tip of the iceberg (or hair).
